It’s late, or is it early? I’m experiencing mind-numbing insomnia. Since I returned from Chicago, I can’t sleep. Actually, I couldn’t sleep in Chicago. There I thought it was the time difference. Insomnia is the worst. I can’t get to sleep until 5 or 6 am, but I sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon once I do. It’s vampire hours. It’s 3 am, and I’m headed to bed, but I just checked my email. I got what I consider an ugly response to The Race Entry, my most responded to and read blog entry thus far. Yeah, I keep track of that. At first, I didn’t want to publish it, as it was anonymous, which I don’t like. I went as far as to not publish it under comments. I hit the reject button, but these replies get emailed to me so I had the copy. I walked away from it and came back. Here it is:
Black has left a new comment on your post, The Race Entry.
I agree with anonymous. It’s hard for me to think of dating a white guy without thinking about the systematic rape, torture, and murder of millions of Africans and people of African descent. We are only two generations from lynchings unless you count Diallo, Dorismond, and others killed by police. In my mind, white boys are colonizers, and to have one touch my body reminds me of the black men who were raped in the past against their will by gay slave owners. I have had white friends tell me that they wouldn’t marry any woman of color because they didn’t want their kids to lose white privilege; I respect their honesty. Segregation wasn’t so bad.
It’s ugly. I can’t decide if someone was mean or if this is their truth. It’s well written, contains facts, and there are no misspellings. But it’s hard. Cold. Segregation. Rape. Brutality. It’s all there.
There are so many things that make us, us. I wish we were all blind, or it was 200 years from now, and we were all that wonderful mixed-race human. The one scientist say we are headed towards becoming. She is beautiful, and he is handsome, and they don’t think about race.