Thanks to you guys who wrote me about THIS IS PERSONAL. I’m fine. The ex-beau drama is over. Well almost…
Last night I went out with friend and blogmate Brad Benton. It’s weird for me to say Brad Benton because I know his real name. Not his nom de plume. We were to meet Tony @ Fubar. But Mr Nightlife gave us the fade. Anyway Fubar (my fave gay bar in L.A.) was having “The Down Low” night. Brad and I walk up and the door guy is like “Hey guys there’s a $5 cover” and Brad goes, “Oh really…” causing the door guy to take a really good look @ us and wave us in gratis. You see Brad is a porn star and I’m a reality star and…You get the picture. Once inside the club was kinda empty but there were some hot, straight, ruff-looking papis and bros. There was a hot Latin stripper with a sweet bubble and a cute, just-the-right-side of fat, Black stripper w/a hot bubble also. Word to the Black stripper: Show more ass. That’s how you get tips. The club was hot. The music was hotter. But it was too dark. People (BRAD) kept stepping on my feet. And as usual I was wearing good shoes! Brown suede, modified chelsea boot w/wing tip detailing (hot!). Why the hell did I wear them to bars? So anyway the DL boys was staring @ Brad and I and the one I fancied (a hot little Latino # in a knit cap and dark green AE polo) was too. Unfortunately his friend, who was the same but not, saw me 1st and was eyeing me up and down. Damn. Well the cute one had on a wedding band so he must really have been on the DL. Brad and I bounced…
…And landed @ Micky’s, where we paid a cover. It was easier than playing the “I’m Brad
Benton, I’m Marcellas Reynolds” game. Once inside we wished we hadn’t. It was “Old Ugly Distorted Stripper” night. The crowd ’twas beat. And the floors were sticky. Gross! And there was the hot dogs-wrapped in bacon-smothered in onion-from a cart-being grilled by a Mexican woman-smell in the air. Have you seen those carts? You can smell them from a block away. It’s like the burnt peanut vendors in N.Y. Who would eat those?! @ 3 in the morning? The hot dogs wrapped in bacon not the nuts. But I digress. Brad is crazy. We end up in the bathroom where a guy in the urinal next to Brad is stoned out his mind and staring into Brad’s urinal. Brad goes, “Hi.” Stoned Guy goes, “Hi you are so hottt.” Brad goes, “Let me help you with something” and takes his free hand, as he was peeing with the other, and wipes a white substance off the Stoned Guys’ face. Smooth move Ex-Lax. Way to hit on someone in a bathroom Stoned Guy. Only in L.A. Only in L.A. Needless to say I made sure Brad washed his hands. 30 minutes later Brad and I are @ my place watching the “Garden Party” epi of The Boondocks. And that’s all I have to say about that.
I’m off to Target, the Gap and to see Munich w/Mel. GIRLS I LIKE is coming…
Oh and congrats Brad on your multiple GAYVN award noms! Can I be your date?
1) Yes, you should know better than to wear nice shoes to a bar. But at least you didn’t make the mistake of wearing sandals.
2) Don’t hate on bar lighting. Sometimes it’s the only saving grace if you’re not feeling so cute some nights.
3) I’m not a fan of the bathroom pick-up lines/moves either.
First I have to say that I wish I could have been there to watch you and Brad. I of course know more about you because i have watched a whole summer of you lol, but Brad’s antics on screen are brilliant so I know the two of you must have made a dynamic couple.
Brad is the thinking gay mans’ porn star. And he’s funny as hell coz he’s got no ego. He’s not afraid to be a spaz when everyone else is trying to be cool. I think that’s how I’d describe myself too. (The spaz not the porn.) I love him.
M