Randomness… PT. 4

In a little post I like to call randomness…A little sampling of what’s rocking my world:

Right now my life is very Safe Sex In The City. I guess I sorta broke up with my own personal Mr Big. I only found out very late in the game that when he started seeing me he had a boyfriend. Once they “officially” broke-up he calls to say, “Okay now I’m yours.” Uh…What? As my mother always said, “They leave you as they found you.” I was the other man and didn’t even know it. Player, play on. So if he was capable of stringing me along and having a beau @ the same time, without either of us knowing, what would make me stupid enough to think he wouldn’t do the same thing to me somewhere down the line. If given the opportunity. THEY LEAVE YOU LIKE THEY FOUND YOU. Ghetto profound.

Thing is, I’m the perfect other man. I’m a very practical boy. My thing is all about the Benjamins. Ducketts. Chips. Cake. $. Stocks. Bonds. LV luggage. Prada shoes. Dinner @ Mr Chow. Frette sheets. An apartment in Miami. I can keep a secret. If you wanna treat me like a ho, pay me like one. Otherwise step up to the plate, be a man and treat me like an equal. With the same respect and commitment with which I treat you. Oh well, you can’t win them all. The search continues for America’s Next Gay Husband.

I’m addicted to Babble. What is that you say? It’s on-line Boggle. I suffer from insomnia and this has made it worse. I finished a puzzle @ 6:15 a.m. on Thursday. The bags under my eyes are insane.

Friday I shot an epi of The Mind of Mencia for Comedy Central. Carlos Mencia is funny as hell. We were riffing on whether gays or African-Americans have it worse. You know, how gays are now equating the struggle for gay marriage to the fight for racial equality? As a member of both tribes or teams or groups or…let me say this: I’ve been called faggot and I’ve been called nigger. The n-word is worse.

On a lighter note I’m back in the gym and have lost 5 lbs. Patrick Dempsey works out @ my gym. Yep, Dr. McDreamy. Oh and Eva Mendes too. Ms Mendes is hot on that elliptical machine. She seems very cool.

I’m doing Bowling for Angels with Project Angel Food. It’s a charity I believe in and work with a lot. I’m a pretty good bowler. I find it sorta retro-glam. And yeah, I own my own ball. Tee hee hee, I said ball. My team is the Angel Mafia. If you would like to donate here is my page! Please help. People need us. It’s the greatest thing we can do.

I’m suing a TV station for non-payment of hosting fees. No not, BET, CBS, E! or Style. Wow that’s kinda nice. I work a lot. Once the papers are served I’m posting them here so everyone can see. My Goddess, Naomi Campbell is also suing someone. A plastic surgeon (no less) who is using her name and visage as a reported client. Ala Ms Campbell, and I quote, “I don’t need Botox because Black doesn’t crack.” Here! Here! I’ll say one thing though, I’ve got a fund for an eye-lift. I’ve always wanted my bags done. Once, a very long time ago, I considered having my nose done. I went to one of the top surgeons in Chicago for a consultation. The doctor said and I quote, “I wouldn’t touch your nose. It’s perfect for your face. Your profile is extraordinary.” To which I replied, “Oh! Thanks!” To which the doctor replied, “I would however, address those eyes.” Ouch. Ever since I’ve been an eye cream addicted nightmare.

This is a Marilyn Minter billboard. She is a super-cool artist and she is currently showing @ the Whitney Biennial. It’s one of the reasons N.Y. is so much cooler than L.A. But the weather in L.A. is gorgeous and the boys are cuter here, so there.

I did L.A. fashion week. Went to a few shows. Kinda sucks. It’s not New York. Or Paris. Or Milan. Krikey (I love that word) I’ve been to better shows in Miami (of all places). L.A. fashion week was annoying. No real celebs. I mean that Paris Hilton look-a-like was causing a media sensation. Anyone who was fooled by her for a second is stupid. She ain’t pretty. @ the very least Paris is pretty. In a disposable, fem-bot sorta way. This chick had some thick ankles, cankles I believe is the term, a beyond bad dye job and a horrid hair hack (alliteration). Can you imagine making your living off looking like someone else? And if you could would you pick Paris Hilton? Wentworth Miller maybe but Paris? Only in L.A. folks. Only in L.A. And Bai Ling, who I like to call Bailing (on her once promising career), was @ the Taverniti show. Who am I kidding? She was @ every show. She looked all sorts a crazy and all kinds of wrong. Damn. But say it like Ice Cube in Friday, “Damn! You got knocked the fuck out!” And then she got dressed. Bailing a little advice: Get back to work and stop going to every damn envelop opening in Hollywood. Leave that to the reality trash. We need it more.

More…Later…

Me.