Caught In A Moment…

I am so having a moment right now. Have you ever lost something that wasn’t your’s to begin with? I’m sitting here on Xmas Day listening to Mariah Carey, Can’t Let Go, on repeat and I’m so depressed. I’ve been replaced by the past. You went back to the familiar and now I sit here with nothing. A bunch of text messages and 2 voice mails. 2 voice mails down from 3 because I’ve saved them so long the system is slowly erasing them. And that’s totally how I feel about us. Each day you slip a bit further away. But the further you go, the clearer I see you. Fuck. I know this was just a childish dalliance and it probably wouldn’t have worked but it was so all I had. Hundreds of texts. The 1st thing in the morning and the last thing at night. All those stupid late night phone calls for hours and hours. Talking about nothing. It was like being in High School again. And you are so sweet. Will I ever meet anyone as sweet as you again? I hoped we could be friends but that last phone call was so strained and weird. So not the way we used to be with each other. And now silence. Silence that’s worse than strained, not knowing what to say talking. How many more times can I listen to these voice mails before they disappear too? How do you mourn what could have been?

4 Replies to “Caught In A Moment…”

  1. “…and now I sit here with nothing.”

    Snap out of it, Mar-to-the-Cellas! You are a wonderful man who has been blessed with great opportunities and amazing friends. It’s ok to have a moment, but when you come out of it with your head held high, realize that 2007 is your year. So come next Monday (Jan. 1st), work your year and make it work!

  2. Oh Marcellas…
    am so sorry to hear this.
    Listen – bigger and better always awaits… each time something like this happens, raise your standards even higher and expect nothing less than exceptional. *HE* is out there… kismet will set it up when the timing is right.
    In the meantime, keep learning and growing… sadly, being hurt is part of the process – how else would you know how glorious it feels to be truly loved and appreciated?
    You know you are a marvelous person with the world to offer…
    you’ll go thru the stages, you’ll come out of it like a new butterfly (how fitting with Jan. 1 around the corner??) and shine even more brilliantly than before.

    {{{hugs}}} and love to you,

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