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Leighton Meester… The Gossip Girls Have Lost Their Minds!

Hot on the heels of a very rare and very public style slip from co-star and muse Blake Lively, Leighton Meester has unleashed a lace monstrosity of epic proportions on the world.

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This lace jumper is like the scene in Aliens where Ripley says “Cover your eyes Newt.” It’s one of those moments where you ask yourself “does she not have one true friend?” If I knew Leighton and came to pick her up for the Harry Winston Court of Jewels Recreation launch (YES HARRY WINSTON!) and Leighton came downstairs in that lace jumper I would have been like “Girl take ya ass back upstairs and don’t come back down until you find your pants.” Or I would have gotten very ill at the sight of this lace monster and immediately asked to be taken to Bellevue, where I would have left Leighton by the side of the road, note attached to her bust “Lobotomy (obviously) needed.”

But the most frightening thing is this messy mass of lace is by Marchesa. I’m speechless. It’s like Georgina Chapman (Marchesa’s glamorous & gorgeous designer) pranked Leighton. And Ashton Kutcher was way too busy kissing Demi’s ass to turn up & yell “Psych! Sorry B, you’ve been Punk’d!” in his best Gossip Girl voice over.

Leighton I know that it’s hard playing second fiddle both on and off screen to Blake. I know you are a talented actor and singer. I also know you make a lot of money. And I also know this much is true; money can’t buy taste & this outfit shows the only taste you have is in your mouth.

Blair… I mean Leighton, why? Did you think you were auditioning for a remake of I Dream of Jeanie? ’cause this outfit smacks of Sean Young dressing up as Catwoman on The Tonight Show and we know how that turned out; rumors of crazy, banging James Woods, getting tossed out of an Oscar party and playing a maid on a soap opera.

Don’t let this happen again. You aren’t some tart from E! who came to fame getting banged on camera. This isn’t a 70s porn set and you aren’t Linda Lovelace. This certainly isn’t some bad remake of an early 80s movie, set in Dubai, starring Phoebe Cates being terrorized by a sex-crazed sheik. And most importantly a lil modesty goes a long, long way. M*

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