For the next few weeks this blog will be dedicated to Big Brother All-Stars. And a little bit about my life now. I’m going to try to make each entry about a specific topic. Things are great! I’ve hit the ground running and had tons of meetings. I’m up for a gig as on-air fashion expert for a major talk show. Already scheduled to work for Style Network again. I just don’t wanna sit still! I wanna work! And oh my gosh how amazing have the fans I’ve met been! It might not have been fun to be on All-Stars but apparently it was fun to watch.
For almost 3 months I had to hold my tongue. To numb it down in order to play a game. Well it’s over and the real Marcellas is back. Gregarious, blunt and no-holds-barred. Let me squelch a rumor here, right now; I’m not in a rift with anyone from Big Brother. I was late to the cast party because I was having dinner with a very special guy. And it was long and very good. Dinner that is! I didn’t get to hang out with the hgs that much because of dinners with my agents, publicist and friends. Not because I’m mad. All-Stars is over. Let it go. I have. I intend to be friends with every House Guest. I’ll hang with Will and Boogie, be pissed off because men suck with Erika, shop with the Buxom Blond Bombshell and I actually wanna spend a day with George doing whatever he wants. But I’m not having sex with Howie! We can just cuddle. All-Stars was just another TV gig. It was what it was.
Todays topic: An unhappy Marcellas is still Marcellas…
As Will says, “Play your role.” I was cut as the “sulky, angry, aggressive, gay guy.” And you know what? I’ll own that. I was sulky. I was angry. Because 10 minutes after walking into the house I knew the fix was in. I knew I had no chance of winning All-Stars. As a student of the game for the past few years because of House Calls, I came into Big Brother with a strategy and a desire to play the game. To right past wrongs and to win. The most obvious problem with All-Stars was allowing 4 people from a still existing alliance to come in the house intact. This could have easily been remedied by not putting 5 cast members from season 6 in the 20 candidates eligible to go inside! And the 4 that made it? All members of the Sovereign 6. Hm mm… And Chill Town? How many times did Will gloat that he cut a deal with the producers, claiming he wouldn’t do All-Stars if his boy, Mike, didn’t make it in? How is that fair? I would love to have been able to insure that my friend (Lisa, winner Big Brother 3) made it in. Is it true Will had a deal with the producers? I personally don’t care. It’s water under a bridge that’s already collapsed.
At the beginning I was optimistic. I was a fan of “The 4” (from season 6). I was friends with Mike and Will socially in Hollywood. Hell, I knew every house guest except for George. I thought this would be an advantage. Instead it became a hurdle. Rumors flying that I had deals with everyone in the house. And so what if I did? The pre-game alliances weren’t a secret among the house guests or the producers. I was from the school that the moment the doors opened all that pre-game plotting would go flying out the window. Much like my desire to work with Chill Town. I’m not stupid. I knew that the 3rd wheel in any alliance with them would be the 1st person thrown under the bus. You simply could not get between Mike and Will (see Jase). I decided to toss my hat in with The 4. And that was a disaster immediately. It seemed the producers put several of us in the house to surround Janelle. As much as I love Janelle, and I do love Janelle, I didn’t come into the house to play for her. I came to play for myself! I also didn’t come into Big Brother to be a part of “Amy and Marcellas: 2.0″ or to be Janelle’s lapdog. Her friend, yes. Part of a secret alliance, definitely. But I had no desire to be the over-the-top gay best friend. That was 2002. And I have grown. I’m a man. I’m an adult. I just wanted to play the game. Strategically.
Here is my biggest problem with the way I was edited on Big Brother All-Stars; they never showed me strategizing in the diary room or one on one with Janelle. I was cut to be the pissed off guy who didn’t want to interact. I laid my strategy out in the diary room constantly. I talked about going under the radar. Reigning myself in. I said all the things I wanted to say to players faces but couldn’t, in the diary room! That’s what the diary room is for! Venting. Getting things off your chest! Having a moment! And then it’s done and you go back out and you make nice! You play the game! You can not tell people off or yell at people and win Big Brother. You can’t get in someones face and then expect them to forgive it. You do that in the diary room. The players aren’t being two-faced if they are pissed and they unload in the diary. They are being smart! Me not wanting to be funny-crazy-zany Marcellas did not work with the producers “Will and Grace” vision of Janelle and I. Further, if you want to cut me as pissed off then tell the audience why I’m angry! I’m pissed because I couldn’t sleep. I’d lay there hour after hour in my cashmere and silk mask with my eyes open! I’m pissed because the house was an ice box (which is why I wore my robe so much). I’m pissed because I felt Janelle and Chill Town were favored by production. I’m pissed because the slop made us sick. I’m pissed because every 30 seconds the voice of Big Brother boomed @ decibels far louder than necessary, “Will, Please stop singing.” Or “Jase, stop that.” Or “Mike, please treat your microphone with respect.” I felt like I was in a prison camp, being tortured! I’m pissed that I was sick and not allowed to see the doctor. And when I was allowed to, he couldn’t take my temperature because he left his disposable thermometers in the trunk of his car and they didn’t work! I’m pissed that I was so sick for so long that by the time James got to Mexico I had to go to the hospital where the doctor told me if I’d waited any longer I would have had pneumonia. As it was I had an infection which started in my chest and moved up resulting in a painful ear infection. Finally someone listened to me! And I cried in the doctor’s office. Because I hadn’t been feeling well for weeks! And the producers knew that! So for the remainder of All-Stars I was on 2 antibiotics, which gave me stomach aches and diarrhea, an antihistamine, which made me sleepy immediately after taking it and an anti-inflammatory for my ear, which I could barely hear out of and was a source of constant pain. If I seemed like a bitch in sequester, there’s reason. Sorry Howie, I didn’t feel like playing with you. My head aches.
I didn’t really enjoy All-Stars. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. And that’s okay. I expected smarter play from all of us (myself included). The thing is, it’s a reality show and what was wrong with me being disappointed? That’s real. My mantra for getting through All-Stars? A quote by Pablo Neruda: They can cut away the flowers but spring still comes.
I’ll leave you with that.
Smooches!
M*