So this week I had 4 auditions (if you count the one I have tomorrow). I’ve been a British architect (or as I like to call him, an “affected gay guy with a Naomi complex”), a homosexual male dumped when his beau realizes he’s actually straight and a young, successful husband, buying a car for my wife. Time will tell which I was the best @ I suppose. Please let it be the “gay guy who gets dumped” role. I read with a beautiful guy and hopefully life won’t imitate art. And that “co-stars meet and fall in love on set” thing happens. We can be like Brad and Angelina. Or Courtney Cox and David Arquette. This boy can dream.
I saw Underworld: Evolution and liked it so much Mel & I rented the original Underworld. I have been crushing on Scott Speedman since Felicity. For me it was never Noel (too nice and needed a diet), it was all Ben. Conflicted. Flawed. And hotter than damn July! Oh and he’s naked in Underworld: Evolution. His butt is like sunshine! Toss it in the air baby! Brighten my day. Oh and in the 1st Underworld there is my (imaginary) husband, Wentworth Miller. He doesn’t look so good though…Which still means he looks better than damn near everyone else. Went (my nickname for my imaginary husband) I love you.
1st: What the hell is Kanye thinking? In this interview he compares himself to Christ! Okay maybe not but it sounds inflammatory. Now I did agree with him that “The Bush” doesn’t care about Black people but c’mon!
Sometimes I think famous people should just shut up and be famous. This is one of those times.
Looker. This movie starred Susan Dey (all early ’80s hot), Albert Finney (surprisingly old & mis-cast), Leigh Taylor-Young & James Coburn (crushin on James big time!). My fave line from any movie ever is uttered by Playboy Playmate of the Year Teri Welles: “They’re killing all the perfect girls.” Gosh…How many times have I uttered that line! This movie is just what the late ’70s/early ’80s were about: feathered hair, models w/A cups in jumpsuits w/o bras, blush that’s like a bruise and really cheesy fashion photo shoots. And I loved every contrived minute of it. I still have a fashion hard-on for it. Looker, Eyes of Laura Mars and the original Stepford Wives. The fashion styling in those movies is perfection.
In a segment, I like to call “Damn! Why Isn’t That Me?”:
Ron Perelman, the owner of global cosmetics giant Revlon, is divorcing Ellen Barkin, the star of the movie Sea of Love and that terrible movie co-starring Laurence Fishburne. In a completely unrelated stream of thought, isn’t every movie with Laurence Fishburne bad? Yep, Mr. Perelman. He of the bad advertising campaigns that feature actresses instead of models is dropping his personal actress like a hot potato. But here’s the thing, he served papers on a stunned Ellen, whose prenup states she’ll get twenty million for anything up to five years but more if she hangs on longer. That marriage was like the ultimate, glam reality show; a married edition of Survivor or a real luxeBig Brother.
It’s late, or is it early? I’m experiencing mind-numbing insomnia. Since I returned from Chicago, I can’t sleep. Actually, I couldn’t sleep in Chicago. There I thought it was the time difference. Insomnia is the worst. I can’t get to sleep until 5 or 6 am, but I sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon once I do. It’s vampire hours. It’s 3 am, and I’m headed to bed, but I just checked my email. I got what I consider an ugly response to The Race Entry, my most responded to and read blog entry thus far. Yeah, I keep track of that. At first, I didn’t want to publish it, as it was anonymous, which I don’t like. I went as far as to not publish it under comments. I hit the reject button, but these replies get emailed to me so I had the copy. I walked away from it and came back. Here it is:
And another Friday night passes. Why do I accept my friend Scott’s phone calls?! He only gets me in trouble. A night out with him means boys, booze, cash, and cops. See My Birthday Party for more sordid details of Scott and me.
After last night, I know this much is true:
1. Boys are icky. Throw rocks at them.*
2. Porn stars are way too dramatic. What they lack in acting skills they make up for in overindulgence.
3. Bottle service and a thirst for champagne can lead to blindness, especially where strippers are concerned.
4. Never wear a cute new blazer to a bar the 1st time you wear it. It attracts cute boys, cigarette smoke, and spilled drinks.
5. Don’t drink and text.
6. Do not accept calls from your parents in gay bars, and if you do, don’t tell the people around you it’s your momma when they ask, “Who is that?”
7. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.*
8. Nothing good happens after midnight.
9. Australian men are hot.
10. A good friend is a blessing, but a good roommate is a godsend.
Recently, I met a guy, or should I say a guy met me. He hit me up, made the initial approach if you will. The conversation was great. He was cute, smart, and had BODY. He was sexy. Since he approached me, I thought, “Why wouldn’t he want to hang out?” Yeah, hang out means go on a date or even more. When I asked him out, he said he was “Flattered,” and thought I was “Nice,” but he did not date Black guys. What? What does that mean? You don’t date Black guys. How can you not? He said he didn’t find Black men attractive. Hold up! What are you saying, “You don’t find Black men attractive?” How is that? Are you telling me that I’m not fine? Or Gary Dourdan? Or Kanye West? Or Michael Ealy? Or Tyson Beckford?