So I was away for 3 long, horrid, agonizing months (actually it wasn’t that bad and I kinda miss it). I was released from captivity on the 12th. It was hard doing time on the rock. This post also represents the last mention you will see from me about Big Brother All-Stars. I’ve got a few interviews (and a cover) coming out and that’s it.
Aren’t we all kinda over it?
Hey I’m Bowling For Angels for Project Angel Food! Check it out and bid. They are so many great prizes!
So this may be my last 12 OF 12 for a while. It’s a good one because it really shows what my life is like.
Lately it’s all about the gym and diet for me. I get up and hit the gym 1st thing for cardio on an empty stomach. I do 45 minutes 5xs a week. And 3/4xs a week Melanie and I run in the late afternoon.
Four.
So this is what I do for a living. I’m a fashion stylist. Not a hair stylist. Not a food stylist. A fashion stylist. Sometimes. Most of my life is spent on camera but when not, a boy has to eat and there are many salespeople whose families depend on the fact that I use my living room as my closet because I have too many clothes! My roommate is not happy. Actually E is a peach and doesn’t care. Why should he? The clothes are new and cool! And my closet is his.
So I’m a consumer. If I can’t wear it, I wanna eat it, if I can’t eat it, I wanna… Well I won’t go there… Oh why the hell not, I wanna shtup it. That’s a nice way to put that, yes? Anyway there is a little shtupping going on but there is a whole lot more eating going on and since there is so much eating going on there is a lot of shopping going on to buy new things to cover my ass. I really shouldn’t be shopping as I’m not really working. But that in my opinion is the ultimate time to shop. Shop your proverbial back into a corner. Then you have to get a gig. But that’s the kinda behavior that leads to leaking a sex video on the net or doing Battle Of The Reality Stars or (dare I say it) an All Stars of whatever show you happened to have survived. I mean desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m not @ the limit on my credit cards yet so… Plus next weekend I’m shooting a documentary on the fashion industry. And I have a few personal shopping clients. So I’m never really unemployed. I’m working, it’s just not being filmed.
So anyone who reads this blog knows I worship at the throne known as Naomi Campbell. When my journey is complete and my days are done, I wanna come back as her. I don’t know why. Her hair is a weave (yes, a very good one. She has crappy taste in men: Mike Tyson, Robert DeNiro (not pre-The Godfather Rob but post-Awakenings Rob), Flavio Briatore (well he did give her a $10 million yatch and he is the father of Heidi Klum’s 1st child) and Usher (to name a few). She has anger management problems. (Who hasn’t taken a swing at the help? But I guess you’d have to have help 1st so… And had that widely publicized drug problem (but at least she sought help).
Now the positives: She’s the most recognized model in the World (so says her attorney), she’s rich as all hell, earning a reported $29 million a year (repeat after me: “DAMN!!!), she’s a multi-talented writer (Swan), and singer (Babywoman), she’s currently, rumored to be, supposedly dating the Prince of Dubai & she does charity work with Nelson Mandela.
In a little post I like to call randomness…A little sampling of what’s rocking my world:
Right now my life is very Safe Sex In The City. I guess I sorta broke up with my own personal Mr Big. I only found out very late in the game that when he started seeing me he had a boyfriend. Once they “officially” broke-up he calls to say, “Okay now I’m yours.” Uh…What? As my mother always said, “They leave you as they found you.” I was the other man and didn’t even know it. Player, play on. So if he was capable of stringing me along and having a beau @ the same time, without either of us knowing, what would make me stupid enough to think he wouldn’t do the same thing to me somewhere down the line. If given the opportunity. THEY LEAVE YOU LIKE THEY FOUND YOU. Ghetto profound.
Thing is, I’m the perfect other man. I’m a very practical boy. My thing is all about the Benjamins. Ducketts. Chips. Cake. $. Stocks. Bonds. LV luggage. Prada shoes. Dinner @ Mr Chow. Frette sheets. An apartment in Miami. I can keep a secret. If you wanna treat me like a ho, pay me like one. Otherwise step up to the plate, be a man and treat me like an equal. With the same respect and commitment with which I treat you. Oh well, you can’t win them all. The search continues for America’s Next Gay Husband.
Every twelfth day of every month take 12 pics to document the day. And in a way your life. I skipped last month (lost digital camera) but here is A Day In The Life Of Me:
This is me waking up. I sleep with Mr. Incredible and my cell phone. My phone is the 1st thing I touch in the morning. It usually wakes me up. My mom and brother can’t seem to grasp the fact that there is a time difference. Neither can my agents. But in their (agents) case the time diff is my general laziness as I like to sleep ’til noon.
…make mini lemon meringue tarts with vanilla-scented creme fraiche mousse. That’s what Lil’ Kim did before her unfortunate incarceration. Now I hate Lil’ kim. Wait, let me restate. I don’t hate her as I never met her. Saying you hate a person you’ve only seen on TV makes you seem crazy. I’m sure she has her good points. I’m sure her friends and family love her. And since she is in jail for holding it down and not sellin’ out her crew to the Man, I gotta show her some love. Now if she would just stop out-lining her lips in black pencil and stop wearing MAC “Myth” and put on some damn clothes, I’d be happy. Maybe prison will show her some restraint. I have no doubt my fave new show will be this:
Yes, Lil’ Kim, La Bella Mafia, has her own reality show. Shot in the weeks leading up to her forced vacation @ the worst spa in New York State. Let’s hope there’s no spitting ala “Pumkin” and “New York” on Flava Of Love. Certain things set my race back. Flavor Flav is and always has been one of those things. There are positive images of African American’s and then there’s Flava Of Love. By putting that show, with that man on TV, vh1 has set the image of my people back 250 years. We’re now coming over on the middle passage. Thanks Flav! Can you tell I don’t find Black folks clowning for the public’s amusement funny? But I can’t begrudge that man a gig. So… Back to reality…
1st let’s just say that Project Runway is the best reality show on TV. To me it is the gold standard. I wish I’d known Debra was doing it because I would have begged her to go with. I just missed my opportunity to meet Michael Kors after being introduced by Debra Messing. Damn. Daniel Vosovic is my boyfriend. I love him. The world is a better place because he exists. He makes me happy. 
I hated his hair cut last night. I loved his collection. And Debra was right, the 13th look was amazing. That camel shift was to die for. But only a woman 5’9″ or above, size 2/4 could wear it. I loved the floral print he picked. I also loved that white military-inspired coat. But Michael and Nina Garcia were right.There was no Asian influence in that collection. He must have been thinking about Chloe or she was standing next to him on the runway ’cause that’s the closest thing to Asian we saw last night. And that big epaulet he stuck right in the middle of that beautiful dress was like a target. And then the model trips!? Any model worth her rate knows you hike the dress up a bit as you walk. Ugh!
Santino’s mom is the shit. Or so he says. I love a guy who loves his mom. Santino’s last dress was a thing of beauty. I loved that ombre print and the pleating. Just watching his show on the runway I thought, “Oh my God Santino won!” I loved his collection. It wasn’t until the playback that I saw yes, that (sh)it didn’t fit. And if it doesn’t fit..You must acquit. Or @ least lose. I, unlike Michael and Nina, liked Santino showing restraint. Let’s not forget the man dressed the figure skater like a turkey.
Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. What can we say about the Asian Sensation? I loved her all season. She seems like the type of girl you’d be friends with. Cool but not too cool. Smart but not too smart. Smart about stupid stuff like how Chopin vodka differs from Kettle One. Or where to get the best mani/pedi in Manhattan fast and cheap. All season long I thought her collections were good but safe. A bit one note. Yes, she can sew. She’s a tailor. And so what she wasn’t running around living for fashion? And being all stupid and crying every 2 seconds? Save the passion for that fine ass boyfriend, who is the best cameo of the season! One word of caution to Chloe: Asian women are notoriously the last stop to “Moville” on the gay train. Ask any gay man about his last girlfriend. She was either Asian, docile and they never had sex or Black, over-assertive and they rarely had sex. If he dumps you Chloe, I’ll buy the 1st round of drinks as we commiserate how bad men suck! Her collection? I had to look @ it twice. On first sight I hated it. I hate that color pink and that color blue and that stiff fabric. And good God in heaven I hate a shrug! No more shrugs. Ever. But the tailoring was key. And she used color. And she was completely different from what she did all season long. Take away the shrugs and you’ve got gorgeous red carpet ready gowns. And I loved her 13th Look; the pleated baby doll dress with pockets. Sorry Daniel a poorly-placed epaulet cost you the game. Congrats Chloe. You are the winner of Project Runway. You and Daniel should go into business together.
In other news I saw Beyoncé on 3rd Street. And you know what? She is gorgeous. And that butt isn’t as big as you’d think. I hear she is losing weight for Dreamgirls. Which will only make Jennifer look bigger. Which is cool. I can’t wait!