Four.
So this is what I do for a living. I’m a fashion stylist. Not a hair stylist. Not a food stylist. A fashion stylist. Sometimes. Most of my life is spent on camera but when not, a boy has to eat and there are many salespeople whose families depend on the fact that I use my living room as my closet because I have too many clothes! My roommate is not happy. Actually E is a peach and doesn’t care. Why should he? The clothes are new and cool! And my closet is his.
So I’m not posting any pics of myself this time. I’m kinda bored with me. I know! It’s true… Normally I’m fascinated with myself. But lately my life is all “will I do Big Brother or won’t I.” I like to think there is more to me than my participation on a reality show. Or not. We’ll just have to wait and see. I live my life like this; I wake up, roll out of bed and what presents itself, presents itself. And I deal with it then. Luckily I’m self-employed. I don’t like to make plans. OR appointments. Definitely dates. I guess we’ll see when we see.
So everyday I’m confronted with this image:
Which means I shop too much because it’s big as day on the side of the Beverly Center. It’s Mischa Barton shot by one of my fave photogs, Steven Klein. It’s crazy gorgeous and I’m in love with Mischa. I mean I love The O.C. Can you believe that Mischa was the creepy little girl who throws up in The Sixth Sense? She grew up good. She also does some pretty impressive posing in the campaign. Now normally I hate Bebe. It’s clothes for skanks but tapping MB to do the campaign was brilliant. Much better than a few seasons ago when Guess hired perennially skanky Paris Hilton to be the face of their ads. But you know what? I’ve met Paris and Nicky and they were exceedingly nice. And very pretty. Does a leaked sex tape and lost blackberry really make one a skank? Hey we’ve all slept with the wrong guy @ least once. Are we (the viewer) supposed to be privy to the private comings and goings of these women? I mean I’m a single boy and I don’t want anyone recounting every step I take. I’m a step away from skank-dom @ any moment. And I like it. Here’s 1 more of Mischa:
So I have been on the master cleanse again and am happy to report as of 4:00 today I lost 14 lbs. Yes, 14 lbs. in 7 days. I just broke the cleanse and what’s the 1st thing I put in my system? Non-sprayed, organic tangerine juice from Beverly Hills Juice Club. It was yummy. But now I wish I’d stayed on for 10 days.
I made the mistake of calling E (my roommate) to tell him how much I lost and he, being the buzz killer he is, says, “That’s all water weight and crap that you passed from not eating.” “2 days from now, once you start eating again, you’ll gain it all back.” Thanks E! Way to represent.
I’m getting really serious about charity work. If you didn’t know I’m doing Bowling with Angels. And yeah, I can bowl. I even know what a turkey is. My goal is to raise $5,000 for Project Angel Food. I really wanna make this happen so I’m offering incentives (other than donations are tax deductible, you’ll help others and you’ll feel really good about yourself).
Here’s the list:Read More »THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING!
So I’m a consumer. If I can’t wear it, I wanna eat it, if I can’t eat it, I wanna… Well I won’t go there… Oh why the hell not, I wanna shtup it. That’s a nice way to put that, yes? Anyway there is a little shtupping going on but there is a whole lot more eating going on and since there is so much eating going on there is a lot of shopping going on to buy new things to cover my ass. I really shouldn’t be shopping as I’m not really working. But that in my opinion is the ultimate time to shop. Shop your proverbial back into a corner. Then you have to get a gig. But that’s the kinda behavior that leads to leaking a sex video on the net or doing Battle Of The Reality Stars or (dare I say it) an All Stars of whatever show you happened to have survived. I mean desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m not @ the limit on my credit cards yet so… Plus next weekend I’m shooting a documentary on the fashion industry. And I have a few personal shopping clients. So I’m never really unemployed. I’m working, it’s just not being filmed.
So anyone who reads this blog knows I worship at the throne known as Naomi Campbell. When my journey is complete and my days are done, I wanna come back as her. I don’t know why. Her hair is a weave (yes, a very good one. She has crappy taste in men: Mike Tyson, Robert DeNiro (not pre-The Godfather Rob but post-Awakenings Rob), Flavio Briatore (well he did give her a $10 million yatch and he is the father of Heidi Klum’s 1st child) and Usher (to name a few). She has anger management problems. (Who hasn’t taken a swing at the help? But I guess you’d have to have help 1st so… And had that widely publicized drug problem (but at least she sought help).
Now the positives: She’s the most recognized model in the World (so says her attorney), she’s rich as all hell, earning a reported $29 million a year (repeat after me: “DAMN!!!), she’s a multi-talented writer (Swan), and singer (Babywoman), she’s currently, rumored to be, supposedly dating the Prince of Dubai & she does charity work with Nelson Mandela.
In a little post I like to call randomness…A little sampling of what’s rocking my world:
Right now my life is very Safe Sex In The City. I guess I sorta broke up with my own personal Mr Big. I only found out very late in the game that when he started seeing me he had a boyfriend. Once they “officially” broke-up he calls to say, “Okay now I’m yours.” Uh…What? As my mother always said, “They leave you as they found you.” I was the other man and didn’t even know it. Player, play on. So if he was capable of stringing me along and having a beau @ the same time, without either of us knowing, what would make me stupid enough to think he wouldn’t do the same thing to me somewhere down the line. If given the opportunity. THEY LEAVE YOU LIKE THEY FOUND YOU. Ghetto profound.
Thing is, I’m the perfect other man. I’m a very practical boy. My thing is all about the Benjamins. Ducketts. Chips. Cake. $. Stocks. Bonds. LV luggage. Prada shoes. Dinner @ Mr Chow. Frette sheets. An apartment in Miami. I can keep a secret. If you wanna treat me like a ho, pay me like one. Otherwise step up to the plate, be a man and treat me like an equal. With the same respect and commitment with which I treat you. Oh well, you can’t win them all. The search continues for America’s Next Gay Husband.
The controversy continues. There are 2 camps: the pro-BBM* camp that say it was robbed and the Crash camp that says, “Sorry superior movie, thanks for the trophy.” There are a few others, real people who have lives, who don’t give a crap what movie wins Best Picture at the Oscars because they have lives and families to feed and…well you get the idea. Now I liked BBM. I thought it was pretty okay. I had some basic problems with it: Heath’s mumbling, Jake’s quirky, uneven performance, it being set in the 60’s through 80’s. But this movie has become so much more than a movie. What I love most about BBM is that it became an event. I love movies. The whole process. I love to know who was up for what part and who turned down which role. Like did you know that originally Sean Connery and Cathy Moriarty were up for Pretty Woman? Totally different movie. Or that Gwyneth passed on Titanic? Kate should send her roses everyday for the rest of her life. Or that The Bodyguard was originally a vehicle for Diana Ross? I love that BBM has spawned so many parodies. I love that it’s jumped the shark and it’s become part of the larger public consciousness.
That said it wasn’t the Best Picture of the Year. It just wasn’t. I don’t know that Crash was but I liked it more than BBM. The one glaring thing I miss about BBM is people call it a love story. Where is the love? Because I didn’t see it. Until it was too late. Ennis decides after Jack has been beaten to death that he’s in love. What happens if Jack had walked through that door ala Bobby on Dallas and it was all just a dream? 
Would Ennis and Jack had been happy? And hadn’t Jack started dating the friend in his home town? Whatever. That’s all conjecture. The movie was beautiful. It’s what one would expect from Ang Lee. The man is a genius. The Ice Storm is one of my fave movies. I mean I can even forgive him for that aberration, The Hulk. Any movie with hot ass Eric Bana in it I’m gonna see! I even saw Munich. 
Speaking of which, where are all the Steven Spielberg fans and why aren’t they up in arms that Munich didn’t win? Did you know that a group of people actually raised over $24,000 and spent over $15,000 of it on an ad in Daily Variety protesting BBM’s loss? People are still dying from the ramifications of Hurricane Katrina and a group of real, live human beings spends that much money in a trade publication lamenting a movie’s Oscar loss?! That’s the outrage! Why not spend that money on Aids education? Or if you really think Hollywood is homophobic (which is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard because living here, everyone is gay) why not donate that $24,000 to GLAAD?!