Brokeback Vs. Crash Pt. 2

The controversy continues. There are 2 camps: the pro-BBM* camp that say it was robbed and the Crash camp that says, “Sorry superior movie, thanks for the trophy.” There are a few others, real people who have lives, who don’t give a crap what movie wins Best Picture at the Oscars because they have lives and families to feed and…well you get the idea. Now I liked BBM. I thought it was pretty okay. I had some basic problems with it: Heath’s mumbling, Jake’s quirky, uneven performance, it being set in the 60’s through 80’s. But this movie has become so much more than a movie. What I love most about BBM is that it became an event. I love movies. The whole process. I love to know who was up for what part and who turned down which role. Like did you know that originally Sean Connery and Cathy Moriarty were up for Pretty Woman? Totally different movie. Or that Gwyneth passed on Titanic? Kate should send her roses everyday for the rest of her life. Or that The Bodyguard was originally a vehicle for Diana Ross? I love that BBM has spawned so many parodies. I love that it’s jumped the shark and it’s become part of the larger public consciousness.

That said it wasn’t the Best Picture of the Year. It just wasn’t. I don’t know that Crash was but I liked it more than BBM. The one glaring thing I miss about BBM is people call it a love story. Where is the love? Because I didn’t see it. Until it was too late. Ennis decides after Jack has been beaten to death that he’s in love. What happens if Jack had walked through that door ala Bobby on Dallas and it was all just a dream? Would Ennis and Jack had been happy? And hadn’t Jack started dating the friend in his home town? Whatever. That’s all conjecture. The movie was beautiful. It’s what one would expect from Ang Lee. The man is a genius. The Ice Storm is one of my fave movies. I mean I can even forgive him for that aberration, The Hulk. Any movie with hot ass Eric Bana in it I’m gonna see! I even saw Munich.
Speaking of which, where are all the Steven Spielberg fans and why aren’t they up in arms that Munich didn’t win? Did you know that a group of people actually raised over $24,000 and spent over $15,000 of it on an ad in Daily Variety protesting BBM’s loss? People are still dying from the ramifications of Hurricane Katrina and a group of real, live human beings spends that much money in a trade publication lamenting a movie’s Oscar loss?! That’s the outrage! Why not spend that money on Aids education? Or if you really think Hollywood is homophobic (which is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard because living here, everyone is gay) why not donate that $24,000 to GLAAD?!

AfterElton.com just posted an amazing interview with Roger Ebert. Mr Ebert is a film critic I tremendously respect. I’ve met him a few times. I’m not name-dropping. Back in the day I was the host/waiter-du-jour at every hip Chicago restaurant. Roger can eat so… You get the picture. He’s also a very good tipper. And he’s married to an African American woman. Mr Ebert feels that Crash was the best pic of the year. He’s actually gotten hate mail because of his opinion! Which, sadly doesn’t surprise me because I have friends who also weren’t fanatics about BBM, said as much and received hate email. People actually accused Tony of self-hatred because, as a gay man, he didn’t like BBM. Well anyone who knows me knows that I am a proud, gay man. I was gay a few summers ago in front of 14 million people. I have the hate mail to prove it, so please don’t think that my apathy for BBM has anything more to do with the fact that I liked other movies more. If you haven’t read what Mr Ebert says about the movie go read that interview. And spend sometime at AfterElton. And if you didn’t see Brokeback Mountain, go see it! And if you didn’t see Crash see that too. Why doesn’t some smart theatre show back-to-back screenings of those movies? So people can really compare! Oooh…That sounds live a viewing party! I need to make an evite. 2 things about this paragraph: I’m really bossy and why do I keep saying “Mr Ebert”?

Wait! What if? Is this a cause célèbre for the LGBT community? Is this similar to how African Americans felt several years ago when the Color Purple was nominated for 11 Oscars and failed to win one? Is this how my friend Brad felt at the GayVN Awards when he was nominated for 6 awards, including Performer of the Year, yet walked away empty-handed? Is this finally the catalyst that will make an apathetic gay community stand up and come out in force for Gay Rights, specifically the right to wed!? Will we put our collective spending power towards lobbying in Washington for the same rights anyone over 12 in some states has? Is Brokeback Mountain not winning the Oscar our modern day Stonewall? I think not. I wish it were. Well @ least it started and prolonged a dialogue. And visibility is our strength.

I’ve seen several movies lately. My house has a few unwanted visitors. Moths, actually, who are eating my cashmere and Harris tweed. It (my home) now smells of lavender and moth balls so I’m spending less time here than usual. Did you know that cedar does not get rid of moths? Did you know that moths have very expensive taste. They won’t eat the cheap Banana Republic blazer hanging next to the $350 vintage Harris tweed blazer. Nope. They go right for the good stuff. Will they eat the $30 H&M merino wool sweaters?

Not a chance when there is a gorgeous $1,200 Gucci cashmere sweater lying next to it. In this case I am name-dropping because dammit, I’m pissed. If only you could be rid of every unwanted house guest with a little rosemary, sage, lavender and a few well placed mothballs. Sorry I digress. Capote was very good albeit a bit long. When is Hollywood going to stop giving Oscars to people who parrot historical figures? Think about it: Jamie Foxx wins last year for monking Ray Charles. This year Reese wins for aping June Carter Cash and Phillip Seymour Hoffman wins for his mimicry of Truman Capote. Enough. Let’s start rewarding actors who do not sit at home and watch archival footage of those who once existed and then turn in a replicated act. Not that the 3 people I mentioned aren’t amazing actors at the top of their respective games but come on Felicity Huffman playing a man becoming a woman? That’s hard to beat. Where are the trannies up in arms about that Oscar slight, btw? Back to the point, I saw King Kong. Good, though what is up with Naomi Watt’s hair? And does anyone see King Kong as an allegory of the African man’s struggle in America?
IF you must see a Kong movie rent the 1976 version with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange. Dino De Laurentiis produced it and it was Jessica’s 1st movie. It evens says “And introducing Jessica Lange” in the credits. And she is gorgeous. All 1976 model/dancer-dating Barishnikov when he was hot-gorgeous. I also saw Failure To Launch. Matthew McConaughey is hot as hell. SJP** looks great and wears clothes like no one else. Failure To Launch is not a good movie. The lead characters are supposedly in their early to mid 30s. Sorry but they read 40 (easily) and as such the movies biggest leap of faith leaves you scratching your head. Sarah is too smart and polished to be the girl exasperated parents turn to to kick their grown sons out of their homes and Matthew, though hot as hell, looks all of 45. His imdb page says he’s just under 36. Matt, if you are 35, stay the hell out of the sun!


The same thing can be said about Sarah. She looks every day of her age. Me thinks someone is playing with numbers. Which I can’t clown them for ’cause…well you know, it is Hollywood. Don’t get me wrong, I love SJP. But the truth is the truth. She’s not a conventional beauty and her modern-girl-polish makes her seem too old to be friends/roommates with Zooey Deschanel and way too old to be pushing up on our boy Matty in this film.


The movie is stolen by a shirtless (and hot) Bradley Cooper. He should have been cast as the lead in this movie. Anyone who ever watched Alias would tell ya that! And sweet little Jennifer Garner would have been perfect in the SJP role. Ah well…Who am I anyway. Just a boy that likes a good movie. And has an opinion. On everything.

I’m stealing my friend Brad’s tag line, just this once, well a variation on it: Pleasure doing business with ya.

*BBM = Brokeback Mountain **SJP = Sarah Jessica Parker