Drama!

Randomness… 6

October 1, 2006June 18, 2017

This is just a little bit of what’s going on in my life right now.

I just purchased a Rolex. I’ve always wanted one. I thought I’d have a rich husband (by now damn it) who would buy me one. But God bless the child whose got his own and now I do. It’s gorgeous. And I’m worth it. After my summer in purgatory I deserve something nice.

My name appears in a baby book. My best friend Kata is pregnant with her 1st child. She and her husband were leafing through Beyond Jennifer and Jason, Madison and Montana & there in the Reality Star section is Marcellas from Big Brother. Spelled correctly. That’s just crazy! Does that mean there are little Marcellases out there, named after moi? Love it!

All-Stars is Over. I’m Back in the Real World.

September 25, 2006July 13, 2015

So I was away for 3 long, horrid, agonizing months (actually it wasn’t that bad and I kinda miss it). I was released from captivity on the 12th. It was hard doing time on the rock. This post also represents the last mention you will see from me about Big Brother All-Stars. I’ve got a few interviews (and a cover) coming out and that’s it.

Aren’t we all kinda over it?

Emails…

September 24, 2006July 13, 2015

I’m back and slowly but surely getting caught up. I’m finally unpacked, though to be honest most of the things I wore on the show I never want to see again. Except my bathrobe!

It’s taken me this long to get through my emails. In my personal email account I had 1,134. Most were from friends and family wishing they could speak to me. Though I often felt alone this season, I wasn’t. They were there with me. So many sweet notes.

The Email That Made Me Cry.

September 19, 2006July 13, 2015

The concept of fans has always been a bit weird to me. I mean what does that mean, anyway. I like certain actors and artists. I support their work if it’s good. If I like it. And I love Francesco Clemente and Vonnegut but I’d never reach out to them. But I guess being a “reality star” and the connection that Big Brother has to the Internet, well I have fans. And detractors. I’m still trying to come to terms with that whole thing and what it means. Here is an email from a member of my forum, whom over the years I’ve gotten to know very well. She has supported me through good and bad times and I love her. In the midst of all this post BB craziness I just got this from my Neenameena. It’s what it’s all about. This is a fan. This is a viewer. Everytime I get a note from her it teaches me something. About kindness and forgiveness. About failing and getting up and trying to be better.

I love you Nina.

It Is What It Is

September 16, 2006July 13, 2015

For the next few weeks this blog will be dedicated to Big Brother All-Stars. And a little bit about my life now. I’m going to try to make each entry about a specific topic. Things are great! I’ve hit the ground running and had tons of meetings. I’m up for a gig as on-air fashion expert for a major talk show. Already scheduled to work for Style Network again. I just don’t wanna sit still! I wanna work! And oh my gosh how amazing have the fans I’ve met been! It might not have been fun to be on All-Stars but apparently it was fun to watch.

For almost 3 months I had to hold my tongue. To numb it down in order to play a game. Well it’s over and the real Marcellas is back. Gregarious, blunt and no-holds-barred. Let me squelch a rumor here, right now; I’m not in a rift with anyone from Big Brother. I was late to the cast party because I was having dinner with a very special guy. And it was long and very good. Dinner that is! I didn’t get to hang out with the hgs that much because of dinners with my agents, publicist and friends. Not because I’m mad. All-Stars is over. Let it go. I have. I intend to be friends with every House Guest. I’ll hang with Will and Boogie, be pissed off because men suck with Erika, shop with the Buxom Blond Bombshell and I actually wanna spend a day with George doing whatever he wants. But I’m not having sex with Howie! We can just cuddle. All-Stars was just another TV gig. It was what it was.

And Then There Were 2.

September 15, 2006July 13, 2015

This is what I know (or think anyway); life is difficult. People are human and will fail each other. Not all is as it seems and we don’t know anything. At the end of the day we can only do our best. If we can get out unscathed and love and maybe forgive each other it makes us better.

I didn’t win “Big Brother All-Stars” but I got Danielle. I got Diane. I got Erika. I got Janelle and now it seems I have Amy back. Who knew I’d make-up with Danielle and now even Amy? Maybe, for me, the show was about closure. And a side of growth.

He’s Back…

September 13, 2006July 13, 2015

Done. Finished. Finito.

Big Brother All Stars is over. I made it through. Love me. Hate me? I got a check coming. What is the 1st thing I’m buying? A Rolex. It was just a game and for me just another TV appearance. I hope all 14 of us find what we were looking for. Will we all be friends? Can we forgive one another? I hope so. If not, thanks for keeping me til sequester. I had kind of a blast.

Aaaaaaah…. It’s Over!

June 29, 2006July 13, 2015

So the voting ended. I’m glad. It’s in the hands of fate now. Or the cosmos. Or God. It’s been a week. Such a week. Long. Tedious. Exhilarating. Hard. Exhausting. I feel like I spent more time on the net than ever. Did I campaign hard enough? Did I vote for myself enough? I resisted the lure of the auto-voter. On a personal level, I thought that was cheating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered some of my fans did it for me but is that what CBS/Shapiro Groedner really had in mind? And watching some of my fellow contenders actively beg for their use? Gross. Yeah, I went out there and did some press, a few TV spots, a bunch of interviews and chats. Heck I even made a t-shirt. But @ the end of the day if a computer can send out 50 bijillion votes a minute should I have even bothered?

Campaigning gave me a chance to re-connect with fans. I got to witness 1st hand the good and the bad that accompanies being a “reality star.” Again. Some things never change! I’ll never understand why I’m bashed over something I said in passing 4 years ago. Talk about holding a ridiculous grudge! And it’s not even being held by the people of whom I spoke. The thing is I spoke of those I knew. We all gave as good as we got! If we can forgive and move forward why can’t the viewer? How can anyone be judged by 12 weeks of their life? Unless of course they murder someone and then… I don’t know, I guess I’m having one of those “is it really worth it” moments. But that’s what the naysayers and haters want. To kill your buzz. Your dream. You have to push past that. Ignore it like so much white noise. And keep moving toward your goal.