I’m just back from NYC. I did The Maury Show. Todd Newton was also on. It was fun. And of course now I wanna be the new Connie Chung. Maury is cute. My episode is about videos on YouTube. And you know how I feel about that. I mean apparently there is video of me trimming my nose hair while Janelle and Erika do their eyebrows. If you downloaded that you are sick. And if you watched? Twisted. Hey divas gotta groom. It’s all about maintenance. And I couldn’t kit out to have my girl Babette do it for me now could I?
So it was suggested this summer that I am not a good friend. That was truly one of the most hurtful things, in a long list of things, that has ever been said about me. Let me clarify; it was said that I turn on my friends. Well 1st, I was playing a game this summer. A game where friendship and loyalty are famously tested. A game where strangers meet and compete. A game where 4 years ago I lost sight of the fact that I was competing for money and chose friendship over cash. And was famously punished for that transgression. Believe me I went into All-Stars with one loyalty this time: me. I wasn’t looking for friends, I was searching for cash and prizes.
So Mikey got caught with his hand in the cookie jar big time. Huge. And mama put a mouse trap in there in the form of a video camera. Here’s the thing, all of us no matter what race we are, harbor some racist thought about some other race. Period. Let’s hope we mask it better than Mr. Richards. Poor thing. He was done before but now he’s super-done.
Reality fame sucks. Basically. Kinda. Well, not really but it does have it’s problems. You aren’t really famous. It’s like being popular…In high school. I was popular in HS. And just as in HS you don’t belong to yourself. You do what it takes to get to the popular table. You do and say all the things that will keep you in the loop. I remember freshman year coming into the game and not knowing anyone or anything really. Either you step up to the plate or you are relegated to band practice and riding the bus home. I was aiming for homecoming king and playing spin the bottle with guys at tennis camp. Well it didn’t take long to acquire the look of the popular. In my HS it was preppy. Levi’s, iZod, Polo and Coach reigned supreme. You needed to be gregarious, smart, well-dressed and kinda a bitch. See, these are the same things reality stars need. Gregarious gets you on the show. Smart keeps you in the game. Well-dressed goes hand in hand with sexy. And you know sexy gets you everywhere. And a bitch? Well we all need our armor.
So it’s done.
Britney has kicked K-Fed to the curb. A lot of peeps were annoyed by him. You know with the whole “I act Black” thing. But I saw the attraction. Hell who doesn’t love a wigger? Is that term politically incorrect? I would never drop the “N Word”. Actually I would. To someone else Black. But I digress. Back to K-Fed… He’s hot in a “dancer but straight-I’ve appropriated street boy” style. I mean I adore Eminem. And K-Fed is basically Em-lite. Some of the flava but with less calories and cash. Kinda the same if you squint. Or keep the lights out.
By now everyone knows of my summer in purgatory. I had a sh*%ty time on Big Brother All-Stars. With a rigged game and less than ideal company, my stay was not pleasant. To add insult to injury someone kidnapped Boo.
This is just a little bit of what’s going on in my life right now.
I just purchased a Rolex. I’ve always wanted one. I thought I’d have a rich husband (by now damn it) who would buy me one. But God bless the child whose got his own and now I do. It’s gorgeous. And I’m worth it. After my summer in purgatory I deserve something nice.