Bye Kevie… We hardly Knew Ye!

So it’s done.

Britney has kicked K-Fed to the curb.
A lot of peeps were annoyed by him. You know with the whole “I act Black” thing. But I saw the attraction. Hell who doesn’t love a wigger? Is that term politically incorrect? I would never drop the “N Word”. Actually I would. To someone else Black. But I digress. Back to K-Fed… He’s hot in a “dancer but straight-I’ve appropriated street boy” style. I mean I adore Eminem. And K-Fed is basically Em-lite. Some of the flava but with less calories and cash. Kinda the same if you squint. Or keep the lights out.

I’d do K-Fed. After a good scrubbing with some very hot, very soapy water. And a dousing of 91% Isopropyl Alcohol. With a condom. I’m a safety boy.

One thing is for certain; K-Fed is about to get paid. California is a right to work state. Wait that’s for unemployment… Oh he gets half of what Brit made during the marriage. But I’m sure they had some crazy pre-nup! Written on the back of a Bob’s Big Boy menu. Or a cocktail napkin from Pure or Rain or or Ghost or some other nightclub in Vegas. There has to be a pre-nup! Tell me there’s a pre-nup. Whatever it is it’s just a stud fee. That’s what he was, a thoroughbred. A stallion.

Now he’ll go the way all dancer/actor/model/husband of’s go… Like J.Lo’s second or third hubby. He was a dancer too… Kinda hot. Latin-y. Chris? Cris something. See? He’s already a memory.

Speaking of kinda trashy women, I have an idea to pitch. This is Hollywood. I wanna do the Anna Nicole Story. It’s a 4 part mini-series extravaganza starring… You guessed it. Britney. Who else could play Anna? These girls have more in common than you’d think. Anna can write and produce it. Can’t you see it? It’s Brit’s comeback vehicle. She can do the soundtrack for the scene where a young Anna swings around a pole and then gives a very old, very rich man, a very good lap dance. An $80 million lap dance.

And at the 2007 Emmy Awards a tearful Britney accepts the Emmy for Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series. As she thanks Anna, Anna from the audience blows her a double handed kiss and says, “Britney thank you for telling my story.” Either that or flips her the bird because she’s jealous she didn’t just play her life story herself. I mean Anna’s a good actress. Did you see her in To The Limit starring John’s brother, Joey Travolta?

Alright I need help. Back away from the computer and get a life Marcellas.

3 thoughts on “Bye Kevie… We hardly Knew Ye!

  1. Clay

    Anna Nicole was in a movie?!? I sooooo have to see that.

    It’s funny, I’ve heard a collective sigh of relief throughout the blog and entertainment worlds now that Britney is ditching The Fed. As a product of small-town Louisiana, I understand where Brit was coming from. I mean, you know her sweetheart was Jason Alexander, but her entourage made her drop him. Then the next best thing she could find was K-Fed? Sometimes we just can’t see the possibilities in life.

    Stronger, Britney. Just keep singing it to yourself.

  2. Diana

    Yes, a wonderful week it’s been… the Brit news, the Dem news etc…
    but more importantly –
    Happy Belated Birthday Marcellas!!!!
    I KNOW it was on Wednesday, and I thought about you all day, meaning to post a note at the very least…..

    Hope you had a Fabulous day and got lots of fun prezzies!

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