November 2006
Michael Richards / The Departed
So Mikey got caught with his hand in the cookie jar big time. Huge. And mama put a mouse trap in there in the form of a video camera. Here’s the thing, all of us no matter what race we are, harbor some racist thought about some other race. Period. Let’s hope we mask it better than Mr. Richards. Poor thing. He was done before but now he’s super-done.
What he should have done is not said a word for 2 weeks and then gone on Oprah. O would have started out with, “What were you thinking?” Then moved into, “No you did not?”, with head shake and Black girl finger wave. Next she would have led the audience in a gentle scolding. This is where Michael breaks into tears. And after that, admonishment. “We know you are sorry Michael.” “Don’t let it happen again.” Followed by a hug. But not too close. That sweater is cashmere. And probably by Ralph Lauren. Followed by a round of applause. Then O could have spun the show into a meaningful dialogue about race in America and the world.
People Are Strange… And Scary.
Reality fame sucks. Basically. Kinda. Well, not really but it does have it’s problems. You aren’t really famous. It’s like being popular…In high school. I was popular in HS. And just as in HS you don’t belong to yourself. You do what it takes to get to the popular table. You do and say all the things that will keep you in the loop. I remember freshman year coming into the game and not knowing anyone or anything really. Either you step up to the plate or you are relegated to band practice and riding the bus home. I was aiming for homecoming king and playing spin the bottle with guys at tennis camp. Well it didn’t take long to acquire the look of the popular. In my HS it was preppy. Levi’s, iZod, Polo and Coach reigned supreme. You needed to be gregarious, smart, well-dressed and kinda a bitch. See, these are the same things reality stars need. Gregarious gets you on the show. Smart keeps you in the game. Well-dressed goes hand in hand with sexy. And you know sexy gets you everywhere. And a bitch? Well we all need our armor.
Lately I’ve been re-evaluating what being popular and being a reality star means. Before All-Stars I was offered a TV show. For most people that is the holy grail. Being the host of your own show. Well I’ve done that. It wasn’t all I thought it would be. When I told the producer that I wasn’t taking the show and I was doing All-Stars she said, “Why would you do that?” “I thought you wanted to kill the reality thing.” I still struggle with my decision to do All-Stars to this day. I thought I had a chance at winning this time. Things don’t work out the way you think. Or hope. Or pray. I’ll never understand why Arnold and Alison pursued me so vigorously only to… Enough of that.
iPod Playlist
So I’m seeing someone. We’re trying to figure out what that means. I care about him. A lot. I think he feels the same way. I get happy to hear his voice or get his texts.
He’s got his own playlist on my iPod:
Birthday Party / Game Nite 2.0!
So I’ve been celebrating my birthday for 2 weeks. Last week while in Chicago and this weekend in L.A. Last night my roommate Eric and I hosted our second game nite! GAME NITE 2.0 actually. It was a blast! It was one of those rare occasions when you look around and realize how blessed you are. I have a great life and some wonderful friends. After visiting Chicago and seeing my family and hanging with a few dear old friends and a few new ones (James, Sarah and Tom), I realized something. My summer didn’t really suck. Yeah, bad things happen. No let’s re-language that: things don’t turn out as you wish sometimes but they can’t derail you and should not block you from what’s good. And real. I had a few laughs and made real connections with some wonderful people. I’m better for it. Stronger. Hopefully smarter. Different.
Bye Kevie… We hardly Knew Ye!
So it’s done.
Britney has kicked K-Fed to the curb. A lot of peeps were annoyed by him. You know with the whole “I act Black” thing. But I saw the attraction. Hell who doesn’t love a wigger? Is that term politically incorrect? I would never drop the “N Word”. Actually I would. To someone else Black. But I digress. Back to K-Fed… He’s hot in a “dancer but straight-I’ve appropriated street boy” style. I mean I adore Eminem. And K-Fed is basically Em-lite. Some of the flava but with less calories and cash. Kinda the same if you squint. Or keep the lights out.
I’d do K-Fed. After a good scrubbing with some very hot, very soapy water. And a dousing of 91% Isopropyl Alcohol. With a condom. I’m a safety boy.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! Or not…
Is everyone celeb obsessed? Right? I mean look at the explosion of tabloid mags; Us Weekly, Star, People, Entertainment Weekly, In Touch, Life & Style, InStyle. And that’s just a few. All dedicated to CELEBRITY. The new Holy Grail. And the covers; “Ryan Cheated!”, “Nicole Wasting Away”, “Thin and Bones!” Okay I subscribe to Entertainment Weekly but they always quote me. And Star but they use me as a pundit! And the web-sites! Yeah I love Pop Candy, Daily Candy and A Socialite’s Life. Towleroad and Go Fug Yourself I visit on the hour. Hell I even popped up on Defamer for kissing in public.
In the wake of Neil Patrick‘s outing I must say enough is enough. That’s strange since I took part in a show that is the ultimate voyeuristic thrill. A show that incites so much web-based celebrity/infamy. It seems to some the cast of Big Brother is like Tom, Halle, Lindsay, Nicole and Paris.